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I'm in the state where I can't find the peace that I've longed for.. Found myself today at lost.. wanting so bad to run away.. Somehow something pulled me back - The voice of reason I forgot I had..
All I know is you're not here to say what you always used to say.. That you have move on, accepting my flaws and creatures habits of mine with no judgements on me..
Yes, I won't give up and I won't break down.. Even if the whole world expect that of me.. but I will be different.. the route to change may not be pleasantries and all..
So if it all goes wrong; when I'm standing in the dark, I'll give up believing someone's watching over me..
All I know is yesterday is gone and right now I belong to this moment to my pain, rage and sorrows.. It's not the new scars that are painful or unbearable.. its the scars that strikes across the old that have yet to start to heal..
It used to be "It doesn't matter what people say and it doesn't matter how long it take, believe in yourself and you'll fly high and it only matters how true you are be true to yourself and follow your heart..." I thought I did all that.. To give everything I could but time and time, it trick me again.. placing me in ever state of confusion.. It is so easy for one to spot the mistakes I did and harp on it.. I know that I'm not gifted in accepting my flaws simply because I detest it myself.. It seems too much for people to accept much less understand.. Understanding is unconditional.. It does not mean you have to impose your opinions and views..
Can love conquer it all? Can I ever placed my state of fragile in the hands of trust? Should I even think of that possibilities? For now.. the answers will always be a blur..
